I like to classify three different ways to meet other singles, the spontaneous way, over time and by a setup. The spontaneous way is where two people meet spontaneously without expecting it to happen. This is how people typically meet in romantic movies.

However, what’s more common in real life is when people meet over time at work, college, or regular, ongoing groups or classes. Over time usually implies you typically start off as friends and over a period of time your friendship turns into something more. Now, the important point I’d like to mention is, over time relationships typically happen naturally. Trying to be someone’s friend in hopes that your friendship will turn into something more is not the best approach. It may work, but in most cases it does not because you are not entirely being honest with yourself or the other person. The setup option includes speed dating, online dating, singles events or any other place or situation you specifically chose to go to with an intention of meeting other singles.

So, why is it so important to make the three distinctions? Does it really matter where, when and how you meet your ideal guy (or gal)? No, it doesn’t matter, but it is good to know yourself, your limitations and what feels comfortable to you. If you are the type of person who prefers to get to know someone before you even consider the possibility of dating them, chances are, you will do better meeting someone special at your local volunteer club rather an online dating site. As much as I am a huge supporter of taking risks and stepping out of the comfort zone, I also know there are unnecessary risks. If your gut feeling is telling you there is no point of doing something because it will be a waste of time and won’t bring you the results you want, then don’t do it.

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